Bullets ran back into the gun because they woud’nt mushroom themselves in something as washed up as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will use you as a Total Gym one of these days EricK, and no one will be able to help you or your Atari 5200-looking Micromoog. 
I just can’t help posting this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kcz0MLLizeY
Can’t stop smiling while watching it too!
Chuck Norris won’t be roundkicking anybody because he can’t stop looking at the Mike Huckabee poster on his ceiling.
THe poster was going to fall down but it was too afraid! (Why? I won’t say.)
That and neither of them believe in gravity.
booyaw!
EricK
Good one!
My apologies in advance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTeafZOUOoY&NR=1 
I can’t watch it at work…I’ll have to wait until 2am when I check my messages. 
Friends,
Let me take the time to put something into perspective with this Chuck Norris crap. All this is fake.
Here are REAL facts from the Wikipedia article on noneother than Stephen Seagal:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Seagal
Seagal Enterprises markets an energy drink known as Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt
He also has his own aftershave called Scent of Action.
To lend context and meaning to his animal rights work, Seagal offered the story about a dog which approached him during his early aikido years in Japan. Seagal described feeling as if he had known this white dog forever. After keeping the dog for a few days, the dog (by barking) warned Seagal that his dojo was on fire. Seagal quickly summoned help to put out the conflagration. Seagal never saw the dog again.
Folks,
this isn’t internet comedy…this is real stuff.
I can’t make this up.
EricK
“When I walk into a room some people see a dog, some people see a cow. I am all of what they see. It is their perception.”
This is serious stuff indeed, but not as funny because he’s talking about himself.
I can’t make this up.
But he can. 
I’ve just Googled this Chuck Norrris that everyone seems to be going on about.
What came up was an actor who’s militantly opposed to other people’s sexuality if they happen to be gay, as if it has anything to do with him, and who doesn’t `believe’ in biological science. He sounds like a complete nut.
Is this the same one, or is there someone else with the same name?
Nope, that’s the one.. His awesomeness lies within his strenght, not his intelligence.
That’s him, alright. He is a Christian fanatic on the far right…but he’s allowed, because he’s Chuck Norris. Google Find Chuck Norris, then click on I’m Feeling Lucky. Also, Chuck Norris random fact generator.
IMO, conan o’brien used up all the good chuck norris jokes
So, think up some more! 
That’s what I do. Or I get them off the random fact generator.
i know, and they’re not funny
Oh…sorry. 
Vin Diesel and Mr.T walked into a bar. Chuck Norris ducked. 